Classy Porn & Coochie Documentaries

I’ve been currently engrossed in the erotic fiction of Anaïs Nin. The collection of stories, Delta of Venus, is all at once imaginatively sexy, disturbingly violent and sometimes perverse. Nonetheless, reading about sexual escapades raises the question of what names to give our private parts to preserve a mood of sexiness without sounding cheesy.

Now, as women, we all have our own opinion on what to call our vagina. I have heard a lot of women say they do not like the word ‘vagina.’ Many of my friends have also mentioned a distaste for the word ‘pussy,’ although I find to be acceptable in occasional bedtime commentary.

I found it interesting that Ms. Nin refers to both the male and female genitalia as his/her 'sex.'

I think I might start calling mine a titillating taco.
Or maybe a yo-yo smuggler.

One of Nin’s stories describes a girl who painted her vulva red with lipstick instead of her own mouth. Sure she was a whore and an opium addict, but nonetheless the image itself kind of fascinated me...

It reminded me of how that new movie at Sundance, Teeth, quite literally about vagina dentata, was getting rave reviews and will be most likely hitting independent theatres in the spring. Will the movie be empowering the hoo-ha or will it simply add a horrible visual to the Freudian fear of a kooter with chompers?

Speaking of movies about honey pots: This spring, the BBC is planning to show a documentary about the history of the word ‘cunt,’ tentative titled “I Love the C-Word.”

Most people are familiar with Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues and the little rant about reclaiming the word “cunt” for women, thus stripping it of its negative connotations. I’d like to say that I’m progressive enough to embrace that idea, but the last time some one called me a cunt, I lost my temper. An ex-bf, let’s call him Mr. Speaker, once tossed the C-word at me in a malicious way, then nonchalantly went to refill his coffee. Upon his return, I kicked the chair out from underneath him, spilling his scalding coffee upon his ‘sex’ and sending him tumbling to the floor in front of 100 or so college peers. It will be interesting to hear what the BBC special has to say about such a charged word.

So my question for you, both my male and female readers, is what do you like to call it?

For an inspirational list click here: 1,500 Words for Vagina

And be sure leave your favorite name in my comment box — pun intended.